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Sardar Jokes : Sardarji and Bus Accident

Contributor — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 13:20:18 +0000

One day a bus gets an accident which were filled up with some sardarjis.
Then one of the Saradarji starts to cry very loudly saying I have lost my hand, I have lost my hand…

After the accident one of the survived sardarji says to him, “why are you crying control yourself, don’t cry, see that man has lost his head but he hasn’t utter even a single word, how silent he is…”

Sardar Jokes : Mrs. Jasbir Singh’s Habit

Contributor — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:46:05 +0000

Mrs. Jasbir Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour.

One day she hung up after 25 minutes….

“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Jasbir Singh.

Sardar Jokes : Air travel of Sardarji

Contributor — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 13:43:16 +0000

One Sardar was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air-india plane.He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array.

But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.

But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.

The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?

Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”

Sardar Jokes : Sardarji and his Chinese Friend

Contributor — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 15:02:14 +0000

Sardar ji visits his Chinese friend dying in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

Sardar ji goes 2 China 2 find meaning of his friends
last words.

It is `U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!”

Sardar Jokes : Sardar Kidnapping

Contributor — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 14:06:51 +0000

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I `ve kidnapped you.”

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

“I `ve kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground”.

Signed: “A Sardarji”.

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid `s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:

“How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son.”

Sardar Jokes : Latest Sardar Jokes Updates

Contributor — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 13:59:29 +0000

Sardarji went to US to live with his brother. Sardarji’s Brother owns an apple shop in US. One day he asked his brother to stay at the shop because he had to go somewhere.
He asked his brother if somebody comes to shop and ask for the apple’s price,
tell them $2 a pound. If somebody questions whether these apples are sweet
or sour, tell them some are sweet and some are not.

If some body says I do not want to buy, tell them somebody else will buy.

Now the sardarji was ready to sell the apples.
A lady comes and asks sardarji, Do you know what time it is ?

Sardarji replied $2 a pound. Lady said; all sardarji’s are idiot and fools.
Sardarji replied, some are, some are not. Lady got frustrated and said, I
will take you to police station.

Sardarji replied, if you will not take me some body else will take..

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Santa : I am a Proud Man, My son is in Medical College.
Banta : Really, what is he studying, Santa : No he is not studying,
they are Studying him.

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A Sardar sees a beautiful girl . He goes and kises her . The girl shouts
and says what r u doing.
Sardar says B COM from KHALSA college.

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SARDARJI IS BUYING A TV. “DO YOU HAVE COLOR TVS ?”
SURE.
GIVE ME A GREEN ONE, PLEASE.

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SARDAR : I HAV’NT SLEPT ALL NITE IN THE TRAIN.
FRIEND : WHY
SARDAR : GOT UPPER BERTH
FRIEND : WHY DIDN’T YOU EXCHANGED
SARDAR : OYE, THERE WAS NOBODY TO EXCHANGE IN THE LOWER BERTH.

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SARDAR TELLS A GIRL ‘COME TO MY HOUSE AT NIGHT, NOBODY WILL BE THERE’.GIRL GOES AT NIGHT AND REALLY NOBODY WAS THERE

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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!Sardar ji: Yes it’s really strange.
I’ve got another pair of the same at home.

===========================

A Sardaarji and his son went to attend a marriage reception. Sardaarji was a miserly person and used to make ‘paisa wasool’ during such occasions by eating as much food as possible. He told his son also to eat maximum possible food to make ‘paisa wasool’They sat down side by side to have food. The feast started. Sardaarji started tucking in as much as possible. Then he noticed his son frequently drinking water while taking food. Sardaar nudged him with his elbow, stared at him and whispered not to drink water. But his beta (puttr) continued to drink water occasionally while taking food. Sardaar was very angry. But he restrained himself because others might watch.

After the reception they reached home. Sardaar called his son and slapped him hard and told “Saala, kitna baar bola, khaney ke saath paani math piya karo. Pet paani se bhar gaya to khaana kounsa pet mein jaayega, saala?’

Puttr told “Papaji, beech mein paani peene se jyaada khaana khaa saktey hai”.

“Woh kaisey, bewakoof”? asked papaji.

Puttr then brought a one-foot tall measuring vessel and filled it with sand. When the vessel was full of sand, he poured some water into the sand. The sand settled down and the vessel had some more space in it. He again filled the vessel with sand, poured water, sand settled and the vessel had some more space. He repeated this four times. Then told “Dekho Papaji, khaana ke saath paani peeyega to aisa hota hai. Shaadi mein aap se jyaada khaana mai khaaya hoga”.

Sardaar slapped puttr hard again, this time twice.

Puttr asked “Ab kyon maar rahe ho”?
“Saala, yeh idea udhar kyum nahi bataya mujhe” Asked the Sardaar.

Sardar Jokes : Best Sardar jokes Collection

Contributor — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 12:46:06 +0000

Ek sardar exame dene gaya to apnay saath palumber ko saath le kar gaya.
guess karo kyun le kar gaya?
aray yaar simple hai us ko yeh news mili thi k paper leage ho gaya. ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Aik Sardar Apnae Marriage Certificate ku 1 hour sae Dekh raha tha.
Begam Ai Booli, Tusi inni Dair Say Kia Dekh Rahe Hu?
Sardar Bola, Expiry Date Dekh raha hoon……

SARDARNE 2 SARDR SARDAR G MAIN NE AJ PANE KO BEWAKOOF BANAYA SARDAR.WO KAISAY SARDARNE.
MAIN NE PANE GARAM KYA PER THANDAY SE NAHA LYA HA HA HA

interviewee;wat z ur date of birth?sardar;nov 28.interviewer;which year?sardar;abey ullu everyyear.

sardarji (raste se jate samay friend se ek chig dekhake):
are yar main ese kahi dekha hain
second sardarji:han main bhi ese kahi dekha hain
first sardarji(use sungh kar ):are yar yad aaraha hain.
second sardarji:ha muse bhi yad aa raha hain.
first saradarji:test leta hain aur kahata hain are yar yah
to gobar hain
huaa main es per pair nahi diya.

a grl in a wedding ceremony want 2 go 2 da toilet. she asked a sardar, sardarji su su kernay ki jaga dikhao.
sardar replied u naughty girl pehlay tum dikhao.

Sardar:Mujhe Begum ke liye Bra chaiye.
Shpokeeper;kya size hai?
Sardar: Size to malum nahi, bus puruni bra main se meri 2 topi ban jati he…

Someone new to sardarji ask him: Tumhara naam kya hai??
Sardar reply: muzhe tumhara naam kaise pata hoga??

Sardar on phone “Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now”.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Sardar: No this is her husband speaking…………

2 Sardars looking at Egyptian mummy.Sardar1:Look so many bandages, pakka truck accident case.

Sardar2: Aaho, truck nambar bhi likha hai. BC-1760!!

Sardar: Will u merry , after i die .
Wife : No i wiil live with my sister.
Wife : Will u marry , after i die .
Sardar: No i will also live with ur sister.

How do you make a Sardar laugh on “Saturday”?
Tell him “a joke on Tuesday

Sardarji is filling up a job application………………………
He promptly fills in the lines on Name, Age, Addr,& etc.
Then came the column Salary Expected…………………
After much thought he writes: Yes………………………..

A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: “STUPID what r u doing?”
Sardar: B.Com final year”

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body’s face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said “SMILE PLEASE”

teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”

Sardarji bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar , where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didn’t reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him ” Arre Puttar, ki hoya?”
The Sardarji got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, “Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?”

Sardar when I sleeps, monkey play football in my dreams,
Dr. No Problem take this medicine b4 sleep,
Sardar kaal se longa, ajj raat final hay

Sardar Proposing a girl: darling kia tum mugh se shadi karogi?
Girl: Tameez se baat karo!
Sardar: Behan je kia ap mugh se shadi karogi

Sardar leave application
Dear sir
My wife is ill
As there is no other husband in the family to look after her, kindly grant me leave 4 one day.
Pls

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar Jokes : Why Sardarji going on the railway tracks

Contributor — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:35:31 +0000

Sardarji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks “kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?” (Why do you take these things with you?). Sardarji replies “Saali train late aati hai kahin bhook se na marjaun” (If the stupid train comes late, I will die of hunger!)

Sardar Jokes : Sardarji as Police officer

Contributor — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:32:32 +0000

Three police squads , The Scotland Yard police , The NY Police and the Punjab Sardar brigade contest for the best police force award . The judges lead them to the Gir forest of India and assign them the mission. He who captures an adult Lion and brings it back alive in the fastest time will be adjudged the best.First Scotland Yard goes into the forest and comes back in half an hour with a Lion all tied up. Then the NY police go in and come back in 15 minutes with a tied up lion. Lastly the sardar brigade goes in. 15 minutes , half an hour , one hour goes and no sign of our sardarjis .The judges give up and decide to search for them . They go into the forest . After some searching , they find the sardarjis all excitedly yelling near a tree . The sardarjis have tied up a big bear to a tree and one of them is shouting , “Bol tu sher Hai ! Saala Bol ! tu Sher Hai !! ” (Admit that you are a lion! You @#$%@! You are a lion)

Sardar Jokes : Sardarji and his Patriotism

Contributor — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 16:30:15 +0000

A Punjabi Sardar and a Bengali Babu were talking about their State’s patriotic history during the freedom struggle. The debate heated up and both ended up claiming that their state had the maximum number of freedom fighters.They finally agreed on a method to find which of the states had more freedom fighters. Each person would say the name of a freedom fighter from his state and pull one hair out of his opponents head. Both of them began earnestly. “Bhagat Singh” said the Sardar and pulled one hair from the Bengali. “Netaji” said the Bengali and did the same.They continued like this for some time, but soon exhausted all known freedom fighters. The Bengali, however, was very clever. He used Sardar’s ignorance and reeled off a lot of imaginary names. The Punjabi was stuck. He did not know any more Punjabi freedom fighter’s name. He thought deeply for a moment, jumped on the Bengali’s head and pulled all his hair out shouting - “JallianWala Bagh”.