First ball : Whizzes past Sardarji’s off-stump. Sardarji doesn’t move an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Second ball : Goes right over the Sardarji’s bat and just over the middle stump, somehow missing both the bat and the stumps. Sardarji is again unmoved.

Third ball : Is a bouncer. Almost decapitates the Sardarji, missing his head by a fraction of an inch. Ball goes to wicket-keeper. Sardarji doesn’t move a muscle.

Fourth ball : Outside the leg-stump. Sardarji again doesn’t move, and the ball shoots past him to the wicket-keeper. But this time, the umpire shouts “No Ball!”

Sardarji walks up to the umpire and tells him, “So you discovered it now!You see, I know from the very beginning that the guy has no ball in his hand!”

per us ki lash muskuratay hoay mili

baghwan ne pocha aisa kiun?

to sardar bola “mai nu laga koi photo khinch raiya ae”
————————————
Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes
closed.

His wife asked what you are doing?
He said-I’m seeing how I look while sleeping
————————————
ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM, DARLING
ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL YOU GIVE ME A RING?

HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
————————————-
Bhagwan and Banta!
Banta finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help.
He goes into the temple and begins to pray……….. “Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going to lose my house as well, please let me win the lotto”. Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Banta goes back to the temple…………….. “Bhagwan, please let me win the lotto, I’ve lost my business, my house and I’m going to lose my car as well”. Lotto night comes and Banta still has no luck!! Back to the temple……….. “My Bhagwan, why have you forsaken me? I’ve lost my business, my house, my car and my wife and children are starving.. I don’t often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. Why won’t you just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order???”.
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the sky parts open and Banta is confronted by the voice of Lord “BANTA, BUY THE DAMN TICKET FIRST”.
—————————————-
Cricketers!
Two fast friends, Santa Singh and Banta Singh, were great cricket fanatics. They decided that whoever dies first will try to come back in the dreams of the other, and tell the other about the Cricket life in heaven.
Santa Singh dies first. One day as Banta was fast sleep, he heard Santa calling him.
He was very happy and was eager to know about cricket there.
“So, Santa! How is cricket in heaven?”
Santa replied, “Hey Banta, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that tomorrow we are going to have a day & night match here in heaven.”
“And the bad news is that you are the opening bowler for tomorrow’s match!”

_________________
If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’
_________________
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from
NASA to SATYANASA
_________________
Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.
_________________
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
_________________
Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
_________________
A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
_________________
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?
_________________
In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…
_________________
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
_________________
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all
India
Radio!
_________________
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
_________________
The Russians dug 1000 ft in the ground and found copper wire; they declared Russia had electricity 1000 years back.
US dug and found optical fiber and declared US had telephone 2000 years back.
A sardar in India found nothing. Then said oye we had wireless technology 5000 years back.

_________________

Sardar: Last night I saw an English movie .It had no scene nor no sound.
Friend Sardar: wow tell me the name of the movie. I too want to see it.
Sardar: Please Insert Disc.
_________________
DIFFERENT SARDAR’S..

1.Student Sardar: Me fail English!!!!! Thats Unpossible.

2.Police :we’re going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Thief Sardar : Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

3.Father Sardar : Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try

4.Patient Sardar: In my dreams monkey play football every night.
Doctor: Take this medicine from tonight.
Patient Sardar: Can I start from tomorrow because tonight is Final.
_________________
SARDAR’S BIRTHDAY..

Sardar went for an interview, The question was when is your birthday?

Sardar: 19th january.

Interviewer: which year?

Sardar: Nonsense..Every Year.
_________________
TICKET TICKET..
Sardar: should I buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god I have only 6 children.
_________________
SARDAR IN AMERICA..

Three Sardarjis went for a tour to America.They searched for rooms everywhere and finally got one which is in the topmost floor of a 100 floor hotel.

After taking rest they started for a local visit.

While leaving the hotel, the manager informed them that they should reach the hotel before10.00pm or else lift will not be available and they have to take the steps for which they agreed and went out.

After all the entertainment in the city, they reached back late at 10.30.

Since lift was not available, they decided to take the stairways under the condition that each sardarji has to tell a story that lasts for 33 floors so that they can reach the 100th floor without much trouble.

After first sardarji finished his story in 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,

“I have a sad story to say, but i will tell at the end only”.

Then second sardarji finished his story and the third finished his story and finally they reached the 100th floor.

Then first sardarji asked what was the sad story.

The third one said,

“I forgot the room key which is on the manager’s table”.

They once again started back to the first floor and this time the second sardarji after crossing 33 floors from top said,

” I got a sad story, but I will also say that at the end”.

They finally reached the first floor and when asked about the sad story, the second sardarji said,

” The keys were in my pocket only”.

With anger and full tired, they once again start from the first floor.

After reaching the 33rd floor, the third sardarji said,

” I too have a sad story, but I will say at the end only”.

Then they reached the 100th floor and the second one asked the third sardarji about the sad story, he replied:

“This is not our hotel, It is on the other side of road, opposite to this…!!!”

A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a sardar standing in the middle of a huge field of grass.He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that Santa is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing.The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the sardar and asks him, “Ah excuse me sir, but what are you doing?”Santa replies, “I’m trying to win a Nobel Prize.”"How?” asks the man, puzzled.”Well I heard they give the Nobel Prize to people who are out standing in their field.”

Sardar jokes-Suger level

Sardar enters kitchen and opens the sugarbox. Sees inside and closes it.Wife observes the whole episode.Again he comes and does the same stuff. Wife asks Why are you doing this?Sardar replies: Doctor told to check sugar level regularly.

Sardar jokes-Engine failure

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

Sardar jokes-Puzzle

Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”"Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

Sardar jokes-Going home early

Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”

Sardar jokes-Hanging for life

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn?t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.

Sardar jokes - Weight loss

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he wouldlose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,but he had a problem.”What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.I’m 2400 kms from home.

Sardar jokes-Santa in heaven

Santa Singh died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth.In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:1. Name two days of the week that begin with “T”.2. How many seconds are there in a year?Santa thought for a few minutes and answered…1. The two days of the week that begin with “T” are Today and Tomorrow.2. There are 12 seconds in a year.Saint Peter said, “OK, I’ll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it’s not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct.But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?”Santa replied, “Well, January 2nd, February 2nd,March 2nd, etc….”Saint Peter lets him in without another word”

Sardar jokes-Santa and Banta

Santa and Banta decide to apply for jobs at a mine that had opened nearby. After sitting in the waiting room for a while, Banta gets called in for his interview.The boss asks Banta if he had worked underground mines before? Banta says that he had.The boss asks him how deep under ground he worked?Banta says, “Oh, about 8 to 10 feet.”The boss says, “Mines are a lot deeper than that, get out of here - you’re no miner!”On his way out, Banta tells Santa to tell the boss that he worked real deep underground so he could get the job. Santa gets called in.The boss asks Santa if he had worked underground mines before?Santa says, “Oh sure.”The boss asks how deep underground he worked.Santa says, “I used to work in a mine 20,000 feet underground. “The boss says, “20,000 feet, Wow! That is incredible!, “What kind of lights did you use in a mine so deep underground? “Santa says, “Oh, I didn’t need a light, I worked on the day shift!”

Sardar jokes-Who dunnit

The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who done it.

Sardar jokes

Santa: My wife is still scared of waterBanta: how come?Santa: yesterday when i went home, she was in the bath tub with the security guard!!———-Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300mlnow it’s 1.5 ltr.———–Nurse: congrats santa, you are a father.Santa: don’t tell my wife, i want to surprise her!

Sardar jokes-The archery contest

Once upon a time there was an archery contest.The first archer, wearing a long cape covering his face, lines up in position…He takes a deep breath and fires an arrow, which finds the center of the target.Then he takes of his cape and screams: I AM…… ROBIN HOOD!!! The crowd cheers!The second archer with a cape lines up in position.He fires his arrow, which hits the center and cuts Robin Hood’s arrow into two!!!He takes off his cape and screams: I AM…… WILLIAM TELL!!!!!! The crowd cheers!!Finally our Santa in cape lines up in position… He fires his arrow but it goes all wrong!It flies past the crowd and kills the king!!! Then the man takes off his cape and screams:I AM…… SORRY

Santa banta sardar jokes

Santa: Wow Banta, Where did you get the cycle, from? Banta: I was walking on the highway when a beautiful lady came in this cycle and asked me -”want a ride Mr. Singh?” I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me “Mr. Singh. take anything” Santa is quite excited and asks “What did you do Santa?” Banta: I took the cycle. Santa: good show - you wouldn?t have fit into her clothes!

Short sardar jokes - santa banta

Enjoy 5 short sardar jokes !? Q: How do you recognize a Santa’s son in School?A: He is the one who erases the books when the teacher erases the board.? Santa: I kiss my wife everyday before leaving for office, what about you?Banta: Me too, after you leave.? Banta: Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the milkman has made love to every woman in our street except one.”Wife: I’ll bet it’s that stuck-up Rupa at number 14.? Santa was caught for speeding and went before the judge.The judge said: What will you take 30 days or Rs 3000.Santa: I think I’ll take the money.? The judge read the charges, then asked: Are you the defendant in this case?No, your honor,” replied Banta, “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defendin’. I’m the person who done it.

After the accident one of the survived sardarji says to him, “why are you crying control yourself, don’t cry, see that man has lost his head but he hasn’t utter even a single word, how silent he is…”

JOKES NO 2
One day a dog was running behind a Santa… But Santa was laughing.
Banta asked, “Why you are so happy?
He said… “Ah Ah Ah….I have an Airtel mobile with me…But Still Hutch network is following me..”

JOKES NO 3
Sardar SITTING ON THE TOP OF MOUNTAIN AND STUDYING..WHEN A PERSON ASKED WHAT HE WAS DOING..HE REPLIED ..Oye!!Higher studies Yaar…!!!
SARDAR standing on platform suddenly jumps on railway track.
Man says sardarji mar jaoge.
Sardar : Marega to tu. Suna nahi train platform par aa rahi hai..
An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. A sardar was observing him.Suddenly a star falls, Sardar shouts: Kya nishana lagaya Boss…

JOKES NO 4
A Sardar Prays Daily for 2 hours”Hey VaheGuru meri Lottery lagade.After 11 yrs VaheGuru angrily appears & says-Abe Sardar 1 bar ticket to le…

JOKES NO 5
Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station.
Hari Singh asks the clerk: “Can I take this train to Ludhiana?”
“No,” answers the railway man.
“Can I?” asks Gani Singh.

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Delhi to Kolkata, the captain announced, “Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left.”
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don’t worry. We can fly just fine on two engines.”
An hour later the captain announced, “One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours. But don’t worry. We still have one engine left.”
A young Sardar passenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day!”

• Sardar jokes-Puzzle

Two Sardar walk into a bar, each orders a drink. They go and sit down and start toasting and cheering, “51 days! 51 Days!!” About five minutes later, another Sardar walks in, orders a drink, and joins the other two in the cheering.
Finally, another Sardar walks in with what looks like a picture. He puts the picture thing in the middle of the table, and starts cheering with the others, “51 days!51 days!!
The Bartender starts too get really curious, so he walks over to discover that the picture is a Puzzle. He walks over to one of the Sardar and asks, “What on earth are you doing??”
“Well,” the Sardar says, “everyone thinks Sardar are so stupid, so we proved them wrong. On the box of this puzzle, it says 2-4 years, but we finished it in only 51 days!!!

• Sardar jokes-Going home early

Three sardars who work in the same office notice that their boss has started leaving work early every day. One day they decide that after he leaves, they’ll take off early, too. After all, he never calls or comes back, so how will he know?
The 1st Sardar is thrilled to get home early. he does a little gardening, watches a movie and then goes to bed early.
The 2nd Sardar is elevated to be able to get in a quick workout at her health club before meeting a dinner date.
The 3rd Sardar is also very happy to be home early, but as he goes upstairs he hears noises coming from his bedroom. he quietly opens the door a crack and is mortified to see his wife in bed with HIS BOSS! Ever so gently, he closes the door and creeps out of his house.
The next day, the other two Sardar talk about leaving early again, but when they ask the 3rd Sardar if he wants to leave early also, he exclaims, “NO WAY! Yesterday I almost got caught!”

• Sardar jokes-Hanging for life

There were eleven people hanging onto a rope that came down from a plane.
Ten were sardar, and one was a girl. They all decided that one person should get off because if they didn’t, then the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally the girl said, “I’ll get off.”
After a really touching speech from the girl saying she would get off, all of the sardar started Clapping.

• Sardar jokes - Weight loss

The doctor told Sardarji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would
lose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Sardarji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight,
but he had a problem.

“What’s the problem?” asked the doctor.

I’m 2400 kms from home.

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Labels: sardar Jokes, Short funny jokes

Short sardarji joke - Accident

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Sardar : Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

• Sardar joke - Santa banta fishing

santa singh & banta singh rented a boat and fished in a lake every day.

One day they had a huge haul of 30 fish. santa said to banta.

“There’s lots of fish here! Mark this spot so that we can come here

tomorrow.” The next day when they were driving to rent the boat,

santa asked banta , “Did you mark that spot?” banta replied,

“Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the boat!” santa said, “You fool! What if we dont get that same boat today!?!?”

One day she hung up after 25 minutes….

“What is the matter today? asked her husband. “Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone.”

“I got a wrong number,” replied Mrs. Jasbir Singh.

But as soon as the Sardarji got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady.

After some time the old lady came and requested the Sardarji to leave the side seat.

But the Sardaji told, “I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave”.

The old lady then complained to the air hostess .The air hostess requested the Sardarji to leave that seat but Sardarji did not leave.

Then the air hostess went and told the asst. captain. He also came and requested, but in vain.

Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of the Sardarji and the Sardarji immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat.

Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. captain asked the captain afterwards what he told to the Sardarji?

Captain told, “nothing… Ijust told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh and all others will go to Jalandhar.”

Man says CHIN YU YAN n dies.

Sardar ji goes 2 China 2 find meaning of his friends
last words.

It is `U R STANDNG ON D OXGN TUBE!”